


Longing For You

by Morgana



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 17:31:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Memory sometimes comes out of nowhere and smacks Angel upside the head</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing For You

It was the laughter that made him pause. The low, easy rumble of male laughter, tempting him with the memory of more carefree days. Angel turned to look, and was immediately sorry he had. They walked out of the room, eyes bright, teeth gleaming in open smiles. Their body language was easy and relaxed, their eyes for each other alone. The dark-haired man smoothed his lover's collar down, then ran hands across his shoulders, obviously drawing the moment out, looking for any excuse to touch the boy in front of him. He knew how that felt, had performed a similar action countless times.

Watching them, Angel found it impossible not to think about his own boy, about the thousands of times he'd made small adjustments in his appearance, from straightening neckties to buttoning shirts and smoothing hair, repairing damages that he'd caused just a few hours or minutes earlier. He remembered well the proprietary sense it had always given him, the satisfaction he'd taken in being the last one to lay hands on his boy before they stepped out into the world and he couldn't help but see himself and Will reflected in the humans down the hall.

They'd had their share of secret assignations, too. Darla and Dru had both enjoyed watching him fuck Will, but Darla wanted it hard and fast and brutal, and Dru was always one to join in. So they put on a show, with him throwing the boy down and taking him, or else turned the whole thing into an orgy with the rest of the family until everyone was come-streaked and exhausted. But those brief times weren't enough, were only tidbits to keep them going until they could slip away again. And when they did... that was when he'd been able to lavish all the attention he wanted on his boy. He'd spend long minutes nibbling on the crook of Will's left elbow, or stroking the nape of his neck. And Will had soaked it all up like a sponge, basked in every touch like it was the last one he'd ever get.

Had he remembered those tender caresses after the soul came and tore his sire away? Did he ever brush his own hand over his body and recall the hours that he and Angelus had spent memorizing every single inch of each other? When he did, were those memories precious recollections of a time that he'd been loved or torturous reminders of what he didn't have? Or both? Angel knew what his own answer would have been, but he wasn't sure what Will would have said.

Or Spike. He supposed he should call him that, now. The boy had picked the name in his early days, but in those hours alone, he'd still been Will, always his Will. He'd still had that same open smile, those eyes that showed every single thing he was feeling inside. Although if rumor could be believed, there was nothing inside now but anger and hatred, especially for the sire that had abandoned him. Ever since he'd heard stories about the vicious killer his youngest had become, Angel had grieved the loss of his Will. He didn't know Spike, and he didn't think he wanted to.

As if his gaze had physical presence, the lovers down the hall became aware of him and they stepped back, immediately slipping into a more formal stance. Hands that had caressed were offered in an awkward shake, and they didn't look each other in the eye, probably too afraid of giving themselves away if they did so. Angel wanted to speak up, to say that they didn't have to hide behind the subterfuge, but he couldn't voice the words. As the younger man walked away, the older man paused by the door and looked Angel's way. Their eyes met and in that instant, they understood each other.

Both loved someone they couldn't have. Angel could see his own hell reflected in the other man's eyes. They looked away at the same instant, each slipping back into their rooms as though unable to bear seeing the reflection of their own desperate longing and loneliness in their counterpart's eyes.


End file.
